Appropriately enough, she has no personality apart from “I need to take care of everybody” and “I really can’t believe I’m beautiful.” She’s a deliberate construct designed to appeal to the lowest denominator in a “Now, every girl can imagine that she’s Sadie getting to have true love sex with One Direction, so get yours today!” manner. Take it from me, you don’t want to face angry little girls in an Internet back alley without any means of self protection. Let’s just stifle our guffaws and play along. Now, we all can laugh our sweet derrières off at the very idea that a 17-year old girl will have a happily ever after with a teen pop star who is just a little older than her, but I’m sure the target audience of this book sees this whole “I’m a teen bride of that ugly one from One Direction” thing as very serious business. It isn’t long before these two are claiming the other person is the air for this person and the reason this person wakes up in the morning – blah blah blah – but oh, he’s a pop star and she insists that she’s a dowdy frump, so how are these two ever going to have a happily ever after? She ends up being a maid in the house belonging to teen pop sensation Jax Stone. Someone has to pay the bills, after all, and now that school is off for Sadie, she realizes that she’d spend her school break being the responsible one in the family. When her mother complains that she’s a pregnant woman too tired to play the maid one day, Sadie takes a deep breath and offers herself as a replacement for her mother. We have the usual self-insert placeholder for the readers, our heroine Sadie whose job is to take care of her immature and irresponsible mother. What this book is is fanfiction involving a teen pop star that behaves like a goody-two-shoes. There is some sexy time involving a 17-year old girl, but those scenes are nowhere near the usual definition of “steamy”. Take it from me: the only way this is “steamy” is if you’re reading this book inside a sauna. Also, the cover art and the publicity material all suggest that this is a “steamy” read (the publicity material uses that word). I have no idea whether this edition has been revised, so if you want to know, you’ll have to drop the author an email.

Harper Pulse, $9.99, ISBN 978-1-4424-8869-4īreathe was previously published in digital format by Wild Child Publishing.

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